Why

Why?

We spend a lot of time together, that question and I. We're rarely apart. Most days it rolls around in my mind, sits in on my life. We stand together during quiet times and lie together on nights when I can't sleep. It seems to keep vigil by my thoughts.

Why?

Yes, Why? There are many things to question. The usual stuff of bleeding hearts and media outlets - tragedies, accidents, war. The political stuff - discrimination against lifestyle, religion, background, gender. And we can't forget about limited access to health, the devaluation of life and privileged care.  

But something I have spent far too much time thinking over is Why? more people don't have this codependent relationship with Why? Because I can't seem to get away from it, even on days when I've had enough and find myself staring dumbly at someone as they tell me a supposed truism.  

Little girls are so much quieter than little boys.

In those moments I can feel it snake it's way up my throat and pull itself over my molars to the tip of my tongue and all of a sudden...

Why?

It's free. And it just hangs in the air, between me and that other person, casting a certain tension about the room. Sometimes that tension is just a whiff but oftentimes it's an overpowering odour. And it's during those times I just stand there wishing I had another companion. That I'd found something more polite and friendly than this combative, inconvenient and unattractive question.

But I cannot be free of it because it's times like these (and times like those), that Why? needs to be everywhere. Should be everywhere. As we encounter social norms and life choices we need it to be with us. As we advocate and support. As we criticize and rebel.

As we blindly accept that things are the way they are because that this is just the way things are, it needs to be with us.

Why?

We see it in the vaccine debate. Anti-vaccination advocates have long asked Why? they must vaccinate their children when there is so much at stake.

We see it in the education of women. Women have long asked Why? they must be polite, nurture the family unit, have it all, mind the children.

We see it in health care. Patients have long asked Why? some receive care and others don't, Why? they should choose one form of care over an alternative, Why? someone else is in charge.

We see it in parenting. Parents have long asked Why? their children are not being protected from toxic chemicals, Why? they should raise their children a certain way, Why? they have to buy happy and healthy childhoods for their families.

But often when we ask the tough questions, we forget to listen to the answers. The anti-vaccination community fought so hard to be heard that many stopped fighting for the knowledge. Women fought so hard to be seen that many stopped fighting to be accepted. Patients fought so hard for a choice that many stopped fighting to make that choice. Parents fought so hard to protect their children that many stopped fighting the real enemies.

Why?

And there it is, the reason I have such a close relationship with Why? The reason I write about our responsibility to protect our society and not just our own children. The reason I write about protecting my perfect little daughter from rose-coloured predation. Why I write about the need to have a voice in health care. Why I write about alternative parenting styles. Why I write about public health, the colour pink, breastfeeding, strollers, gender roles, equality, health, care, patriarchy...

It's because Why? is my tenant. My hobby. My lifeline. A member of my family. We cannot take anything for granted as we have everything at stake.

But sometimes, it also makes the world a very lonely place.

And in these times, I can't help but wonder Why?

Video by CarbonNYC

Accidentally Happy

Here's something I discussed a while back. It was a topic that I had debated with a very successful friend who felt she had lived a purposeful life. Given the recent changes in my family and the importance of the topic, I think it's time to revisit the issue.

Here goes.

Can a successful career happen by accident?

Oh, I know. This blog is called the (ever-so-clever) 'Life and Musings of an Accidental Pharmacist' so my opinion may seem obvious, but something this big is never simple. Whether you call it a debate, an issue, a conversation, or a matter of one's own personal politics - the position that you take is central to how you see yourself and your success.

This is about power, ownership, gender roles, ambition, and culture.

When we meet someone successful we wonder how they got to where they are. If that person is more successful than us, we wonder if they're smarter. If they don't seem smarter, perhaps they are luckier. Or they have more drive. Or, if we don't care for the person or are a little jealous, we may wonder if they're opportunistic.

And when that person is a woman, we may even give her labels that are very damaging.  

Oh, her? She's too aggressive for me. I hear she's manipulative.

I'm guilty of this. Too many of us are. It's mean and it's wrong and it makes us feel a hell of a lot better when we're a little lost and we meet someone who isn't. Perhaps she was at work or on the playground. Perhaps she was me. Or it was you and you knew it by the look on the other person's face.

That's why this question of success is so important. This is about whether women, in an effort to avoid those interactions and labels, play down our achievements. Whether motivation, drive and ambition are undesirable qualities best disguised by humility and modesty.

An accident, by definition, is an unplanned circumstance. 

For many women, the claim of an accidental career can make social interactions a little easier. It's a way of saying that we're not a threat and that we just want to be liked or thought well of.

But there's another side to this coin and it's this: At what point should we know who we are meant to be? That elusive future 'me'. That personal goal on the horizon. Should we decide on our careers as young women, before we've experienced the high of traveling? What about a broken heart or the loss of a loved one? Financial hardship? Motherhood?

In a life lived well, there are benefits to having a determined openness to new opportunities - to chance encounters. Rather than being in the right place at the right time, the benefits are in getting yourself to that place and getting ready for that time. And those places may change over time.

That's why I am an accidental anything. Or accidental everything. Life is hard, often in unexpected ways, and it helps to be flexible and try to move fluidly between opportunities. I can't know when the best things will come into my life or how they'll change my direction.

I had no idea I wanted to be a pharmacist. On a whim, I applied. It changed everything.

Now, I think I've found my place in the world - largely by chance. Or, if you prefer, by accident. There have been so many opportunities where I was one of a few applicants. Where I sidestepped one opportunity in favour of something new. I did a lot of leaving behind and learned to stop looking back. I've been called smarter, luckier, driven, and opportunistic (and probably aggressive and manipulative).

I made a lot of choices that led me away from the path I was on - often not understanding where I was going. And it made all the difference. I am truly happy and get a kick out of my life. And perhaps that's the difference. I do what I do by accident, but I am who I am on purpose.

Are you an accidental success or are you trying to figure it all out on purpose?


 Photo by Rick E. Dick

MamaMed Series: The (In)Effectiveness of Cough Syrup

A few things before we start. In today's post, I'm going to be talking about coughs due to the common cold - not chronic bronchitis, emphysema or lung cancer... those conditions are a different matter. Also, if you find yourself hacking for any longer than 4 weeks, get yourself to a physician.


Last week, I gave you some general tips on using medications in your family. This week I'd like to chat with you about cough syrups.

Have you ever wondered if cough syrups really work when you have a cold or flu? Or maybe they don't work for you but work great for your son. Or your husband. Or your mom.

When we say that a drug is 'effective' what we really mean is that it generally works, under ideal conditions, for some people, some of the time.

I don't like where this is going...

This bit of roundabout thinking means that a drug may work for someone you know but will do squat for you. To top it off, all drugs have some placebo effect meaning that if a group of people got a fake drug but were told it was a real one, some of them would actually feel better (by coincidence or by the power of their minds).

That's sneaky!

I agree - that is sneaky but it keeps people buying minimally effective drugs for ailments like the common cold.

Cough syrup is a great example of this. Belive it or not, there is no evidence that over-the-counter cough syrups do anything more for your viral coughs than ordinary pancake syrup. In fact, a study that was funded by the honey manufacturers (ahem) suggested that honey was better than cough medications at treating children's coughs due to colds. Just be careful to not give honey to kids under 1 due to the potential risk from botulism spores.

If cough syrups don't work, why do pharmacies sell them?

Good question. Over-the-counter cough syrups generally contain either dextromethorphan (DM) or codeine. Both drugs are supposed to work somewhere in your brain (maybe your brainstem?) to blunt your urge to cough. This sounds fabulous when you're up at 3am with a hacking viral cough. However, for the common cold, neither drug has been shown to do much good.

Some people wonder if the combination of an older sedating antihistamine (like diphenhydramine) along with a decongestant (like pseudoephedrine) will treat coughs that are caused by mucous dripping down the back of your throat, but the clinical evidence doesn't support this treatment either. In addition, these drugs have lots of side effects and need to be used cautiously in children, anyone taking prescription drugs and those who have a chronic medical condition (that's a lot of people that need to be careful).

In addition to the drugs, some people use zinc lozenges but these are also not effective. Same goes for any other medicated cough lozenge.

Whoa, this changes everything.

It sure does. We don't know why these drugs aren't wonderfully effective, because in theory they should be. Maybe the studies of cough syrups for the common cold have been too small or maybe the drugs just don't work. The point is that right now, there is no compelling reason for you to take your sick little body into a drug store and buy yourself any cough syrups.

Because cough syrups can be dangerous.

Both DM and codeine are drugs of abuse - DM is popular with teenagers. Children have also been overdosed and had serious side effects after taking drugs like DM, leading the US FDA and Health Canada to halt the sale of cold medicines for children less than 2 and to change product labels to say that these drugs are not to be given to young children (under the age of 4 in the US or under the age of 6 in Canada).

Then what am I supposed to do for this stupid cough?

Skip the drugs. I know that sounds like pharmacy sacrilege but if you took the time to ask your pharmacist (who longs for the day when someone expects something more from them than a hundred pills counted by fives) they would probably tell you this.

Even Consumer Reports has an opinion in 'The Best Drugs to Take For What Ails You', where they suggest that you go home and check your cupboard for some candy or some honey.

And this is great advice.

Considering that adults get an average of 2 colds per year (kids get 4-5) and that 1 in 4 people will have a nagging cough for up to a month, here are two suggestions for when you get infected and are faced with a long night of coughing:

• Head to the kitchen and take a teaspoon of honey or maple syrup or mix some lemon and honey/syrup in hot water... if only because it's tasty (avoid honey in kids <1)
  
• Suck on a non-medicated candy like Halls or a butterscotch - anything to get the saliva going and because these are also tasty (avoid in kids <2 or those that could choke on the candy)
  

And if you take these suggestions and still find yourself coughing in the middle of the night, you can be confident that you're not missing something and just commit to some late night TV watching.
 
Other Resources:

• US FDA Public Health Advisory on Cough and Cold Products in Kids
• Health Canada's FAQ on Cough and Cold Product use in children
• Healthlink BC: Coughs 
• UpToDate: The common cold in adults
• The Kid's Doctor: Dealing with a baby's first cold 

Photo by bluecinderella 

Note: The MamaMed series is intended to provide general information on medication use. If you have specific questions about your care or the care of a loved one, contact your pharmacist or physician. (My disclosure statement can be found here.)